3 Strikes: Gay, Black & Male (Part 1)

Who are you as a person? How would you describe yourself? Give an introduction.

As a person, I feel like I’m someone who everyone goes to no matter what. They may fear my reaction because they know they will get the honest truth. I would describe myself as unique, and outgoing. Here’s why I, I tend to carry myself in a way most wouldn’t think. A respectful, intelligent, young black man whose along with some urban flair.

I could sell a blind woman a pair of shades knowing damn well she doesn’t need them. It’s my tone my welcoming spirit that attracts and makes you want to support me by all means. You will never find another like me. Your experience with me isn’t strictly on you, it’s 50/50. I’ll bring positive vibes and it’s up to you how you want this interaction to go.

Being a depressed young black gay man, what challenges have you faced?

The biggest challenge as a young Black gay male I’ve faced is being told NO! Not only am I a Black man in America, but I’m gay as well. I believe many they would consider that as a life sentence.

When I was playing sports I was viewed as a sissy. Imagine being looked down upon for who you love and being told no I don’t want him on my team. This is the reason why I don’t feel comfortable being asked my opinion on sports or playing them.

Another challenge is not being able to have the same opportunities as others. Especially when it comes to music, acting, sports, having a career without having a stigma or being viewed to the world as not being normal. People (straight) fear things that are not normal to them or the history of things. If there’s a change they want to know about it and put it on trial first.

They seem to feel uncomfortable around men who make jokes about homosexuals. They also seem to avoid being around gay men in fear of losing friendships or looked at as gay by association. 

How has depression affected your relationship with friends, families, significant others, etc?

When I was first diagnosed with depression, I was told that it wouldn’t only affect me. It would impact others around me as well. I try to let people know the situation in case I’m in one of my moods or I just need time to myself. People fail to realize there are days where I can not give a flying fuck and other days when I just need attention.

We all have falling outs with our parents, but having depression can make you feel like everyone is equal. When it comes to depression you don’t care who it is or what happened or who died or what is happening. You just want to be left alone and sad.

My fiancé has grown to know when I need time. When I snap out of it he will remember it’s not towards him it’s just an episode I’m having. In the beginning, I would be so angry and show him that anger he didn’t deserve at all. I tend to not contact my family weeks on end because I just don’t want to deal with people.

Has depression ever affected your work ethic?

Some days I want to quit my job just because I don’t have time to worry about having to curse someone out. Waking up the day feels bad already and all I want to do is hide. I work in customer service so there have been times I had to disconnect a call or take a break from work. I did this to just cry or break down because each episode of depression isn’t the same for me.

What is depression to you?

To me, depression is a mental illness that God chose to give to certain individuals who he knew would handle or find a better way of dealing with it. 

Click here for Part 2!