3 Strikes: Black, Gay & Male (Part 2)

“Keep a smile on your face and keep pushing.”

How has depression affected you?

Depression affects my day to day life. Even when I don’t have episodes my medication reminds me daily what I have and what can happen if I don’t take my meds to control it. It changes my mood for the day and my activities and just the way I interact with others.

How has anxiety affected you?

My anxiety is a little bit different because I’m constantly beating myself up over the littlest things. I’ve always been that person where I need to plan ahead or things won’t go as planned. Even if it’s 3 months ahead. I have to make sure the ones around me know that I need things done a certain way. If I yell it’s because my anxiety doesn’t have the time for what they’re doing. I tend to do this because I’m bossy AF.

What is the thing you hate most about depression/anxiety?

The thing I hate most about depression/anxiety is that some people don’t take it into consideration that this affects my life in ways they couldn’t imagine. That they won’t take the time to understand how I feel or even educate themselves on what it is.

How important is counseling?

I think counseling is important but personally, I don’t want anybody sitting in my face telling me what I should do and how I should handle my life. They have the degrees and knowledge I understand, but I would rather speak to my friends. Also, I wouldn’t mind the process of educating them or answering any questions so in the future they will know how to help me better.

What are misconceptions that people have about depression/anxiety? 

I think the biggest misconception that I’ve heard is that depression/anxiety only affects women. As you can see I’m a male and I have it. Another one that trips me up is that depression is a sign of weakness. I never understood how a mental illness causes one to be weak. Yes, we may have our days but if you refer to it as weak because we cry then you need to re-evaluate your life.

Also many say that it’s “All in your head,”  like No living day to Day and knowing that you need some type of medication or therapy or counseling to help you not think about suicide tells you a lot.)

If someone doesn’t go to counseling what would you recommend to them?

For people like me who don’t seek counseling, I think going to a really close friend or adult you can trust. Just letting it out or getting advice from them could help certain situations. By all means, reach out because you never know what help they can provide.

If you have taken any, How much have anti-depressants helped you? 

They have helped some days. I have all the energy in the world and some days things could be better, but I do feel the difference when taken medication and being off the meds.)

Love is still possible if you have depression/anxiety.

Do you think a person is wrong if they leave a person with a mental illness, whether it be a friendship/relationship?

Absolutely, I think it’s the same as leaving a regular relationship of any kind. But do I blame them, no. Why you may ask? It’s because it’s an Illness that one has to deal with. Others aren’t expected to be there when one is having hard times.

They should be able to pick and choose if they want to go through this journey knowing the pros and cons. These are the people you just let go and hope to find someone who will understand, trust with over 3 billion people you will find one.

How do you cope with your mental illness? What is toughest for you to overcome?

Music definitely helps whether it’s Drake, Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj & Migos. It will instantly change my mood. I tend to watch movies or just workout. Anything that will get my mind off it.

The toughest thing for me to overcome is understanding people will not always be there for you. That you have to take into consideration that they have lives too.

What advice would you give to someone when they are trying to make someone with depression and anxiety feel better? 

Get to know them very well. Study what causes stress or anxiety in life and keep in mind when it comes to certain situation what to do about handling them. Also, I would suggest making them feel happy without sex if in a relationship.

Understand what can make their soul feel better or what can get them up and going whether it’s shopping amusement parks concerts. Get them up and let them know there are better days ahead.

Name your coping methods?

I sing my heart out throughout the day. I always listen to Nicki Minaj every morning to start off. I love eating cookies and ice cream so going to my favorite food places will help my day. Talking to my friends and seeing how they are doing also gets me through my day.